Dress Up
by RGAP-48
Summary: Sami's come up with a plan to help keep Lucas from finding out about her past as Stan. The plan just happens to be a little crazy and a little risky. Will she succeed in holding on to Lucas or will the plan backfire, ruining her chances with Lucas even mo
1. Chapter One

**Dress Up**

* * *

**Author's Note: I'm bored with the other fic I started, then this idea sort of popped into my head. It starts at Sami's bachelorette party and I'm changing a few details from the show to make this fic work. Other than that, it's kind of a strange story. Most of my fics end up getting strange in one way or another, so this one just starts strange too ;). I'm also sorry for the hiatus HHS is on if you really liked that one. I have a short attention span lately, but I may add to that story if I get in the mood.**

* * *

Chapter One

Kate and Bart had been the first people to make unwanted appearances at Sami's bachelorette party. Then, only twenty minutes after Bart's slightly disturbing stripper dance, Nicole arrived and made her own attempt to crash the party.

Nicole showing up drunk didn't surprise Sami; it was common knowledge that Nicole had become very attached to the bottle after losing Brady. Unfortunately, even though she wasn't surprised, Sami wasn't any less angry. If there hadn't been a party full of witnesses around, she would have happily strangled Nicole. After dealing with Lucas' witch of a mother and Tony's infuriating lap dog, Sami didn't know if she could deal with this blackmailing lush without hitting something.

Nicole didn't waste any time in attracting attention to herself. After a quick stop at the bar for a Cosmos, she lurched into the middle of Alice's on unsteady, six inch heel clad feet.

"Hey, everybody!" she called, her voice a worthy opponent for the music and voices surrounding her. "Sorry I'm late. I just couldn't decide what to wear."

Belle, who had obviously decided to follow her brother's example and treat Nicole like trash, pursed her lips disapprovingly. "Were you even invited? I can't imagine why either of the brides-to-be would want you here."

"I heard that you're pregnant," Nicole returned randomly. "That explains a lot. You're getting really fat." Ignoring Belle's indignant gasp and Mimi's laughter, Nicole shifted her attention to Chloe. "You want me here, don't you? It's not like there's any hard feelings between us. So what if you played dead and broke Brady's heart, then waltzed back into his life right when he was getting ready to move on with his life and marry me. Nope, I'm not bitter _at all_." Nicole's broad grin didn't come close to reaching her eyes.

When no one responded, Nicole added, "But it's okay. I'm still hotter than you, and Brady still wants me bad."

Sami gritted her teeth when she heard Kate's shrill voice rise above Nicole's drunken one. "You have a lot of nerve coming here and saying these things. You couldn't hold on to Brady because you didn't deserve him. You're evil and selfish and you always ruin everything." Kate's gaze flickered in Sami's direction. "In other words, you're just like Sami."

"Why don't you do everyone a favour and shut up?" Sami snapped. "You're the one who shouldn't have been invited."

Nicole shot Sami a big, crooked smile. "It's so sweet of you to defend me. I love you, too." Nicole wobbled over to Sami's table, then looked back at the other guests solemnly. "Sami thinks I'm hot. She wants me almost as much as Brady does."

"What the hell? I do not!" Sami retorted, even though she knew it was useless to argue with Nicole when she was hammered.

Nicole grabbed Sami's hand. "I have to talk to you in private." Once Sami was standing, Nicole leaned over and whispered, "Stannie-poo," in a sing-song voice. Exasperated and embarrassed, Sami followed Nicole out of the bar, but not before wrenching her hand from Nicole's grasp.

As soon as they were outside, Sami crossed her arms over her chest impatiently. "What do you want?"

"I want Brady back." Nicole answered, pouting. "I'm lonely and I miss him. It really hit me tonight. He's gonna marry Chloe if you don't stop him. You have to help me get him back or I'll have no reason to go on living."

Sami rolled her eyes. "Is that supposed to motivate me? Listen, I think you need to lay off the alcohol and find a new guy. I can't help you."

"You better help me, Ssssami," Nicole slurred, "Or I'ma tell the world who Stan really is. Actually, I'll just tell Kate instead. She'd pay big money for that information and I need cash as much as I need Brady sex."

"What you need is a slap upside the head," Sami told her, "and I'll give you a lot more than that if you breathe a word to Kate or to anyone else."

Sami wondered why she was wasting her time on Nicole. Since Nicole had her own skeletons from the Stan era, she couldn't really want Stan's identity to be revealed. Tony was the real threat. Nicole was just a pain in the ass, but Sami still wished there was something she could do to get Nicole off her back about the Brady thing.

She didn't have time to expand on this thought. She and Nicole were suddenly drawn out of their conversation by an outsider's voice.

"Nicole!" A dark haired woman rushed towards them. When she came closer, Sami realized the woman was Jan Spears, the woman who had stolen Shawn from her little sister all those months ago.

"Jan?" Nicole blinked. "Woah, this is insane. This is the first time I've been so drunk that I started seeing things."

"It's about time I found you." Jan's eyes were wide and scared. "I looked everywhere."

Nicole squinted at Jan. "Are you really here? The last time I checked you were half dead."

Jan waved her hand dismissively. "That's over now. I made a 'miraculous' recovery according to the doctors. I don't find it miraculous though. There was just no way I was going to let Measles kill me or give me permanent brain damage."

"What's the problem then?" Nicole asked. "Why do you need me?"

"I wanted you to help me get Shawn back," Jan explained. "I did some sneaking around and found out that Measles is after my man. I wanted you to help me teach that little snake a lesson."

Sami looked from Jan to Nicole curiously. "I didn't know you two were friends."

"We're not friends," Jan corrected Sami, "Nicole's just my bitch."

"I am not. You're my bitch."

"Be quiet, bitch," Jan then went on to tell the rest of her story, "I went to your mansion, but when I got there I saw _Victor_. But it couldn't have been Victor. He's dead. What's going on, Nicole?"

"You obviously didn't kill him properly," Nicole scolded Jan, "because he came back to life."

Jan looked relieved. "Oh, that's good. For a minute there I was afraid I really _was _suffering from brain damage."

"Did he see you?" Nicole inquired anxiously.

"I ran away really quickly, so I don't think he did."

"He better not see you," Nicole warned. "You have to get out of Salem before he finds out you're not in a coma anymore and gets both of us locked away for attempted murder. Ugh, I need another drink."

"But I have to stay and keep Mimi away from Shawn." A horrified expression came over Jan's face. "Shawn doesn't know I tried to kill his grandfather, does he?"

Sami raised an eyebrow. "You two tried to kill Victor?"

"Ja-an," Nicole whined. "Now she's got more dirt on me. Why don't you leave?"

"I can't." Jan was beginning to look worried in spite of her refusal to leave. "I guess I do have to hide though. If Victor does find me, you're going down too, Nicole."

Nicole made a face. "Fine, but if I go down with you, then I'm taking Sami down with me."

"And if I go down for what I did, then I'll take _you _down with _me_." Sami shot back.

"And I'll bring Jan down with both of us if that happens." Nicole shrugged. "So if one of us goes down, we all do."

After a few moments of silence, Jan finally said what they were all thinking, "Well, this sucks balls."

Sami bit her lip so hard she almost drew blood. The inconvenience of Jan and Nicole couldn't have come at a worse time. Now she had to keep Jan hidden from Victor (and everyone else in Salem) and keep Nicole from telling anyone about Stan.

More importantly, she had her own life to worry about. She couldn't lose Lucas again, but she knew she would if he found out she had been Stan. He hated Stan so much that he would definitely hate her as well if the truth came out.

"What does Nicole have on you anyway?" Jan asked Sami.

Nicole answered for Sami, "She dressed up like a man and did a lot of terrible things."

"Seriously?"

"Did you ever meet a creepy guy named Stan?" Nicole questioned Jan.

Jan's jaw dropped. "You mean that sexy blond was really her?"

"Sexy?" Nicole wrinkled her nose.

Jan was shaking her head in disbelief. "No way. I can't believe that was you. That was one incredible disguise. How did you figure it out, Nicole? I never would have guessed it. You're a genius, Sami. You could have hid in that disguise forever. It was so..."

While Jan continued to gush, the beginnings of a scheme formulated in Sami's head. Jan was right about the disguise. Nicole would never have realized that she was Stan if Tony hadn't tipped her off. And as long as Tony escaped from jail, he wouldn't get in the way of her new plan.

The more she thought about it, the more she believed she could pull it off. The more she believed she could pull it off, the more she believed it was the best idea she had come up with in a long time.

"It's perfect," she said aloud.

"What's perfect?" Jan asked curiously.

Sami's smile was both sly and mysterious. "I know of a way you can hide from everyone and still stay in Salem. In fact, I know how we can all get what we want out of this."

"Out of what?" Nicole demanded.

"You're going to get a Stan disguise," Sami instructed Jan. "While you're wearing it, you're going to get Lucas to forgive you. Whatever else you do in the disguise is your call."

"That'll never work," Nicole interjected. "How is she supposed to look like Stan?"

"I still have the name and number of the guy who dressed me up like Stan. We'll get him to give Jan the same look. She'll need colour contacts and some other things I didn't need, but other than that it shouldn't be too hard." Sami said.

"Stan's a criminal, remember?" Nicole had clearly sobered up quite a bit and was not keen on Sami's plan. "They'll arrest Jan if she dresses up like him."

"You haven't let me explain all the details yet. Jan will come back as Stan and blame everything on Tony. Stan will say Tony manipulated and threatened him and that he didn't want to do all the things Tony made him do."

"Won't Tony have something to say about this?" Nicole asked doubtfully.

"He's in jail. What can he do?" Sami brushed off the question, not wanting the two women to know that Tony was on the verge of escaping because of her. "You'll also have to apologize to everyone Stan tortured." Sami told Jan, glad that she wouldn't be the one in the Stan disguise this time around. She wouldn't have been able to stomach apologizing to people like John Black.

"Most importantly, you have to get Lucas to stop hating Stan." Sami concluded.

"He's still going to hate you for lying to him no matter what his feelings on Stan are, dumbass," Nicole argued.

"I don't think he would if he understood Stan better. I know he'd still be angry, but I'm hoping this will make him less angry if the truth does come out one day. If the plan goes really well, maybe I'll find the courage to _tell _Lucas I was Stan." Knots formed in Sami's stomach despite her confident words. "But the point of this is to help Lucas find closure with the Stan thing so both of us can move past it. I'm hoping he won't be so obsessed with Stan if he stops hating him."

"I've always liked the idea of cross-dressing," Jan said slowly. "I think Shawn would look hot in a skirt. I guess I can handle dressing up like a man for a while."

"What about me?" Nicole scowled. "This plan isn't helping me get Brady back at all."

Sami had to think quickly. "I was getting to that. You see, um... Stan's going to be your boyfriend."

"What? That is the dumbest part of this plan yet!" Nicole exploded.

"No, it isn't. You need to make Brady feel jealous and threatened. Let's face it, the guy is an arrogant jerk. If he realizes you're moving on with someone else, he'll realize that he still wants you to love him."

"But I don't want to kiss _her_." Nicole pointed at Jan as her face practically turned green.

Jan looked pretty grossed out herself. "I'd rather french kiss a splintery piece of balsa wood than kiss her. Gross."

"Can either of you come up with anything better?" Sami asked, disregarding their unhappy reactions to the sudden twist in her scheme. Jan and Nicole's protests ceased immediately.

"Then it's settled." Sami said firmly. "We'll meet tomorrow to work out the rest of the details. Now get lost and let me enjoy the rest of my bachelorette party."

Without so much as another glance at her allies, Sami turned and walked back into Alice's, leaving Jan and Nicole outside to stare at each other, their faces contorted in disgust.


	2. Chapter Two

Chapter Two

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**Author's Note: **For some reason, when I started this fic I was sure the man who helped Sami with her disguise left her with a way to contact him if she had any problems. Then I read some old transcripts and it turns out he didn't leave her with anything. I guess I should do my homework _before _I start writing next time. So in this fic let's say the man did leave his contact information with Sami. As for the wedding time line for this story, Broe's wedding is taking place in one week and Lumi's wedding is a couple days after.

* * *

It was like looking in a mirror, Sami thought, awestruck. Months ago, she had looked into a mirror and had seen Stan's face reflected in the glass. The feelings she had felt then resurfaced when she looked at Jan now. Actually, Jan was Stan now. She wasn't just Jan dressed up like Sami's male alter ego. Despite Sami and Jan's differences in face shape, height, and everything else, Sami had a hard time deciphering any differences between the two Stans now that the man had finished his work. 

Mr. Womsley had been surprised by Sami's phone call. The surprise had been followed by annoyance and unwillingness to cooperate with Sami. Of course, like almost everything else in life, his help came with a price tag. But the price was high, and Jan wasn't very happy about paying it.

Jan was almost finished writing Mr. Womsley a cheque. She signed her name at the bottom with flourish, thrusting the paper at the man with unnecessary force when she was done.

"Thanks," Mr. Womsley didn't look up from the papers on his desk. "Good-bye now." He had been very brusque and businesslike with them the whole way through, not saying more than fifty words throughout their entire session.

"Why did I have to pay all the money?" Jan checked out her new look in the side mirror of her car once they were in the parking lot.

It was strange hearing the voice of a female coming from someone who looked so much like a man. Sami then remembered the last piece of the Stan costume she had yet to give Jan. She pulled the tiny mouthpiece out of her pocket.

"You're the one who got the disguise. You're the one who needs to hide from Victor." Sami pressed the mouthpiece into Jan's hand. "Besides, you were the only one who could afford to pay. Here, you need to stick this to the roof of your mouth."

Jan examined the tiny device in her hand dubiously. "Why?"

"Because you'll keep sounding like a girl if you don't." Sami stated flatly, as if the answer should have been obvious.

"Ewww!" Jan abruptly let the mouthpiece fall to the ground. "You stuck this thing in _your _mouth already, didn't you?"

"Don't break it, you idiot," Sami shoved the mouthpiece back into Jan's hand after picking it up. "Putting this thing in your mouth won't be anywhere near as gross as kissing Nicole will be, so I suggest you get over yourself."

"You make me sick," Nicole told Sami.

Jan glared at both Sami and Nicole before popping the mouthpiece into her mouth. When she began to speak again, her voice came out deep and masculine.

"Wow, this is cool," Jan announced. "I sound like a guy now."

"You catch on fast." Sami took out a folded sheet of paper and handed it to Jan. "Here's a list of all the people you need to apologize to, along with reasons why you owe them apologies. I'm going to be around to hear every one of your apologies so I can make sure you don't screw up."

"Whatever." Jan brightened suddenly. "Hey, can I make Stan gay?"

"No! You're supposed to be dating Nicole."

Jan's face fell. "Can I at least seduce Shawn then?"

"Do whatever you want to Shawn as long as no one else is around to see." Sami quickly changed the subject. "You and Nicole are going to meet me and Lucas at my apartment tonight. On that piece of paper is a rough outline of what you're going to say to Lucas. I'll fill you in on the rest of the details on the drive home." Sami had started to tell Jan the story of Stan on the ride over to Mr. Womsley's out-of-town studio (he had refused to make a trip into Salem to help them).

Nicole nudged Sami out of the way and stood in front of the passenger door, leaving Sami stuck with the backseat.

"Well, what are you waiting for?" Nicole asked Jan. "Unlock the car and drive us home." With a grin, Nicole added, "Stan."

* * *

Back at her apartment, Sami was waiting for the elevator to arrive when Bart nearly gave her a heart attack. 

"Oogly boogly, you're in trouble now, Sami." Bart stepped out from behind one of the plants in the hallway in a janitor's outfit.

Sami shrieked and dropped her purse. "What's wrong with you? Oogly boogly?"

"The plan's a no-go, Stan," Bart said, stone-faced.

"I'm not Stan anymore," Sami returned smugly, then began being serious. "What do you mean? What happened?"

"I was craving something to eat late last night after I had finished talking to you, so I went over to the Brady Pub. I was wearing one of my fabulous disguises to make sure no one recognized me. Your daddy and his little police buddy, Tek, were sitting in the booth behind me. I was surprised they weren't chowing down on donuts because they were definitely talking police business."

"And?"

"And they were talking about how they planted a trap on their computer system for anyone who tries to help Tony get out of jail. My guess is that you fell right into that trap." Bart said.

Sami grew defensive. "This isn't my fault. I thought the information I gave you was real!"

"I realize that," Bart responded. "Me and the Boss Man talked it over, and we've decided not to go through with our original plan. We've also decided not tot tell anyone about your past as Stan. Not yet, anyways. We're going to wait it out in case we need you for Plan B."

"Oh, God. There's a Plan B? What is it?" Sami asked, feeling sick.

"It's a work in progress." Bart replied evasively.

"In other words, you don't have one yet." Sami let out a relieved laugh.

"I wouldn't laugh if I were you," Bart told her. "We're off your case for now, but we can ruin your life any time we want. Don't forget that."

Bart walked on down the hallway, pulling a cart filled with cleaning supplies behind him. Sami smirked at his retreating form.

_With a little help from Jan Spears, my past as Stan won't matter to anyone soon. And by the time you realize what we're up to, we'll have already saved Stan and it will be too late and you won't be able to ruin me. _The elevator finally opened in front of her, and Sami stepped inside, more than ready to be back in her own apartment with Lucas, especially after the morning she had just had.

* * *

"So when are you going to tell me what the occasion is?" Lucas inquired, coming up behind Sami and nuzzling her neck. His arms wrapped around her waist and Sami placed her hands over his, trying to calm herself down. It was taking all of her willpower to concentrate on making dinner and not letting her anxiety and excitement drive her crazy. 

As much as she was anticipating the night that would be the beginning of the end of Lucas' obsession with Stan, she was still climbing the walls with worry. Anything could happen tonight. There were a million different ways Nicole or Jan could mess up the plan and make Lucas suspicious, and if Jan didn't say and do the right things tonight, she might ruin 'Stan's' chances of being forgiven by Lucas for good.

On top of all these worries, Sami wasn't even convinced she was doing the right thing. It was one thing to hide Jan from Victor by dressing her up like a man and then using Jan to help Nicole make Brady jealous. But was it fair to bring Lucas into this? Jan's version of Stan would be playing games with plenty of other people, like John and Mimi and Billie when he apologized to them, but she didn't want to play games with Lucas. She just wanted to marry him and make sure he wouldn't hate her.

She didn't want to trick Lucas, but she didn't want to risk losing him either. She turned around to see the contented smile on his face and sighed, resting her head on his shoulder. She decided that she had to go through with the plan. She could tell him the truth _after _he stopped hating Stan, but not before. For the time being all she could do was coach Jan along and pray that Jan and Nicole wouldn't screw up.

She regained her composure and smiled up at him. "Not yet. You'll find out soon enough though." Sami looked over at the clock on the wall. Nicole and Jan would be knocking on her door any minute, which was perfect since she was almost done putting the finishing touches on their dinner. It was a good thing she had been completely focussed on preparing the meal because she probably would have burned everything to a crisp if she had let her mind wander onto other subjects.

"Come on, just give me a hint," Lucas begged. "You've been acting so weird all day that I'm dying to know what's up."

"I have not been acting weird," Sami retorted playfully.

"No weirder than usual, anyways," Lucas teased. Sami punched his shoulder lightly in response.

"Your surprise should be here any second," Sami told him, eyeing the door out of the corner of her eye. "You have mentioned that this surprise would make you happy. I hope it does, but I don't think it will be exactly what you're expecting either."

Lucas gave her a confused frown.

"I know I'm not making sense right now, but you'll see what I'm talking about." Sami said. "Just promise me you won't react right away and that you'll be... open-minded."

He seemed to be thinking this over, but he didn't have time to reply before someone began knocking on the door. Sami smiled and took hold of Lucas' hand, walking him over to the door.

"Okay, Lucas," Sami's hand curled around the doorknob and she prepared to open the door. "I give you..." she began to pull the door open, "Stan."


End file.
